Vanilla ISIS — A Parody

3 min readNov 2, 2020

I told you all last week I wanted to release the parody lyrics I wrote to another song after my @DropkickMurphys parody of “Johnny We Hardly Knew Ya”. This one is another banger.

But first, a short story…

I wrote this in the days following Charlottesville, where white supremacists and white nationalists converged in a disgusting display where later an innocent woman named #HeatherHeyer was tragically murdered by one of the extremists.

Later, two Virginia State Police officers lost their lives in a helicopter crash after chasing the killer in their helo. It was a tragic couple days for so many reasons and it profoundly affected myself and millions of others.

I wrote it because writing parody music makes me smile, laugh, and gives me that dopamine rush when you write something so meaningful to oneself that you just snap your fingers. Anyone who gets that dopamine rush knows what I’m talking about.

Anyway, I wanted to release the lyrics on Election Day Eve to help you remember why voting is so important.

#Vote #ElectionDay #RememberCharlottesville

Shoutouts to my real-life professional work team, who are some of the only ones who have seen this. We call ourselves the “Inglorious Basterds” for a reason, I bet you can guess why. I told them years ago if it ever shows up online somewhere, they need to swear me to secrecy. Also shoutout to the #peens. Without you all, I would not have survived the last 4 years in one single piece. One day we’ll get on that boat, grill some #kabob, sit on the Potomac and chill.

“Vanilla ISIS” by Alt Homie

Alt-right stop, collaborate and listen,
ISIS is back with a brand new edition,
Something’s grabbing ahold of them tightly,
It’s just Trump and he’s stroking it nightly,
Will it ever stop? Yo — I don’t know,
Turn off the lights and watch the tikis glow,
To the extreme, they rock a hat like a vandal,
When they’re surrounded we blow ’em out like a candle,
Trance, bum rushed by the Blacks and Jews,
Like getting triggered by transgender bathrooms,
Deadly, when they shoot their own extremity,
Apparently being non-white’s a calamity?
Love it or leave it, they mean what they say,
Better paint a bullseye, because they’re cray,
If there’s a problem, yo, I’ll solve it,
Check out my hook around Pepe’s carotid.

ISIS baby, Vanilla ISIS baby
ISIS baby, Vanilla ISIS baby

Now Republicans are jumping,
With Trump’s tweets he sends while he’s dumping,
Quick to the point, to point out faking,
Too bad our journalists are not shaken,
Burning em, and pop ’em like pimples,
I go crazy when I see your symbol,
And your khakis with and all-white polo,
I’m on a roll and it’s time for a BOLO,
Riding like Tarantino,
Coming around corners saying “bawnjourno”,
With my peens on standby, they ride til they die,
Did you stop? No — I just went by,
Kept persisting til the next drop,
Keep turning left to hit the right spot,
Since there’s a problem, yo, I’ll solve it,
Check out Trump and how he’s insolvent.

ISIS baby, Vanilla ISIS baby
ISIS baby, Vanilla ISIS baby

Take heed, cause we’re about to own it,
America’s back just in case you didn’t know it,
Our towns, taken back by the crowd,
Enough feet to kick Nazis to the ground,
We resist like an anti-bacterial,
Our words take you out like the disease of your venereal,
Resisting and persisting, it’s a hell of a concept,
We get loud and make you want to forget,
All of this. We don’t play your game,
We won in ’45 and we’ll win the same,
So fast, the Germans say “damn!”,
Those Americans saved the world again,
Hunting those down like a wild goose,
Hanging their hate high from a noose,
We’ve got a problem, so yo, I’ll solve it,
Check out this book about 4chan’s involvement.

ISIS baby, Vanilla ISIS baby
ISIS baby, Vanilla ISIS baby

Yo man — let’s peace outta here. Word to your moms, word to your dads, I know they didn’t raise fools like you.

ISIS baby, Vanilla ISIS baby, too bold, too bold
ISIS baby, Vanilla ISIS baby, too bold, too bold

“Bawnjourno.” (Brad Pitt’s voice)




Keeping America safe from within our borders. Not affiliated with DHS. #resist #countryoverparty //